I wonder if I could stop loving him, if this would be easier.
I'm terrified of the divorce being final and changing my name back - it'll feel like I really have nothing to show for the last two years and all my blood, sweat, tears, love, energy, and soul that I put into a relationship.
I still have hope. Why does that feel wrong?
I still love him, so so much.
I wonder if we waited to get married if this would've worked out.
My life feels so wrong that I'm shorted out of a plan -- I'm not supposed to be jobless, dogless, loveless, homeless. I'm supposed to STILL be Mrs E, in Texas, with Tiko, writing letters, Skyping, sending care packages, in bliss with R&R, and waiting for homecoming.
I feel so incredibly lonely -- I have no friends here in NV who have even gone through a divorce, much less at a young age, in a military situation, or at least recently. No one understands the military lifestyle, or how or why I miss it so much.
I don't have the energy or the presence of mind or the willpower to do anything, at all.
I wish he didn't have a girlfriend. I wish I could have knowledge of his pain as surely as I do of my own. It feels like he spent a month getting over us and now he's moved completely on. It feels like I'm the only one debilitated by this.
I put so much of myself into our marriage and I just wish it was enough. It breaks my heart yet again to know it wasn't and hurts even more to think that someone else could be. I know this girl won't be, but it hurts to think he thinks so.
I'm terrified of the divorce being final and changing my name back - it'll feel like I really have nothing to show for the last two years and all my blood, sweat, tears, love, energy, and soul that I put into a relationship.
I still have hope. Why does that feel wrong?
I still love him, so so much.
I wonder if we waited to get married if this would've worked out.
My life feels so wrong that I'm shorted out of a plan -- I'm not supposed to be jobless, dogless, loveless, homeless. I'm supposed to STILL be Mrs E, in Texas, with Tiko, writing letters, Skyping, sending care packages, in bliss with R&R, and waiting for homecoming.
I feel so incredibly lonely -- I have no friends here in NV who have even gone through a divorce, much less at a young age, in a military situation, or at least recently. No one understands the military lifestyle, or how or why I miss it so much.
I don't have the energy or the presence of mind or the willpower to do anything, at all.
I wish he didn't have a girlfriend. I wish I could have knowledge of his pain as surely as I do of my own. It feels like he spent a month getting over us and now he's moved completely on. It feels like I'm the only one debilitated by this.
I put so much of myself into our marriage and I just wish it was enough. It breaks my heart yet again to know it wasn't and hurts even more to think that someone else could be. I know this girl won't be, but it hurts to think he thinks so.
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