Regrets

Sometimes
We drown ourselves

In hope
In dreams

Emotional waterboarding
Choking on love


I guess that's okay
I guess none of us are perfect
Honestly, we're all a mess. 
[their own cluster of fuck. dont deny it, it makes you look pathetic]
The closer you get to someone the bigger their pores get
But maybe love airbrushes them for you




It was like watching a plane crash
I saw it happening
I knew it was bad
And about to get worse

But there was nothing I could do to stop it
Indeed, I was the cause

My Ciroc-soaked mind
Couldn't comprehend
Couldn't even remember
What I just said

The light to the fuse
Cloaked by fog

But the feeling, the raw emotion
I remember, sharp as a knife

humiliation
terror
pain
this ache
so confused
did I do this
what's happening


It's too late now.
As they say, 
The damage is done.

9/5/2014

You don't know me. You really don't know me. You don't know how crazy I can get. Only one person really knows that. Very few have had glimpses.

The complicated part is the gray area between what goes on in my head and what comes out of my mouth.

You have no fucking clue who I am. What I've been through. What I've put myself through, the standards I've held myself to. The promises I've made, and broken, and why.

I've lived too many lifetimes. I don't even know what the next one could possibly be.